Grace--A Challenge for Challenges

About a month ago I heard someone talking about our frustrations with others. He told stories about frustrating situations, asking those listening if they could relate. Of course we could! It's not hard to recognize that there are some pretty universal frustrations and challenges. But as I'm getting wrapped up in agreeing with the speaker, he reveals God's truth about frustrations. See, when we mess up, when we do frustrating things in God's eyes, he sees us through "eyes of grace." So I wanted to see what grace really meant. Here's what I found:

"a manifestation of favor, pardon, mercy, goodwill, a favor rendered by one who need not do so, indulgence, a temporary immunity or exemption, a reprieve, the free and unmerited favour of God, as manifested in the salvation of sinners and the bestowal of blessings."

The key part I recognize as relating to my life in particular in "unmerited." In other words, God's grace towards me in unmerited, undeserved. This is what the Bible has to say about how we should respond to God's grace towards us:


1 John 2:6 ESV
Whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked.


1 Corinthians 11:1 ESV
Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.


John 14:15 ESV
“If you love me, you will keep my commandments.


John 13:13-17 ESV
You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet. For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you. Truly, truly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them.


1 Peter 2:21 ESV
For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps.




Ephesians 5:1-2 ESV
Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.


Ephesians 4:22-24 ESV
To put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.


Luke 6:46 ESV
“Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and not do what I tell you?

You can read more about what the Bible says about grace here:


http://www.openbible.info/topics/grace




As I continue to learn more about my Creator, I am beginning to see how perfect His design is. He doesn't expect us to figure everything out on our own, He has set an example for us to follow. The closer we walk with Him, the easier it is to "be imitators of Christ" and see others with "eyes of grace." Ever since hearing this truth God has kept in on my heart. I must see others with eyes of grace as God sees me. I must see them with grace when I disagree with them in my heart of hearts. I must see them with grace when they mock me and challenge my faith, family, lifestyle, choices. I must see them with eyes of grace when they insult me, disregard me, and harass me. I must see them with eyes of grace when they HATE me. Why? Not to be a good person, for I have already failed at that a million times over, but because God sees me with eyes of grace no matter how badly I insult him, offend him, hurt him through my words and actions. His grace by definition is unconditional. It's time we saw each other through love using eyes of grace. We're here to help and support each other every step of the way, not tear each other down for our differences and mistakes. If grace is something you need, then it is also something you should give.

I'm so thankful we serve a gracious Heavenly Father---will you be an imitator?

authenticity & the "real" world

          I haven't written in a while. Well, I've started to write a few times--even written full posts, but each time it has never made it past the "draft" stage. Why? Because those words were all too real. So what is this? Not too real? Not exactly. This is me being real about not being real enough. When I write it's so easy to edit, so easy to highlight part of my story and hit delete. I think to myself: They shouldn't read that. That's not who I'm supposed to be. That will only make Christians look worse. I can't show the raw realities that coexist with the truths God is teaching me. But I can. I should. I'm a human living in a fallen world. These past few months have been a struggle for me physically, emotionally, and especially spiritually. It was a semester of fighting my body--between pain, debilitating swelling, and anxiety. I felt plagued by sickness of one kind of another. It was a semester of heartbreak as I tried once again to trust another, and was coldly dropped from my place of comfort. I felt worthless. Lied to. Like I was the object of a joke, a scam. As if the condition of my heart meant nothing to anyone else. Why should it mean anything to me? I was being selfish. I shouldn't have such high standards. It was a semester of spiritual revival and subsequently turning my back on God--wanting to ignore his voice and calling for me because I felt betrayed. He hadn't been taking care of me, protecting me, guiding me. Why would he let all this happen? I'm a nice person, I don't deserve this! Instead, it was me who hadn't been listening, hadn't been watching and waiting, I was trying to lead instead of follow.
          I've been left in a bit of a stupor trying to figure out who I really want to be and who I really want to be around. I was left numb after dealing with the sadness of being pushed away by one single guy--it just took one to avert my focus. I didn't want to trust anyone--not even God. He had encouraged me spiritually and emotionally more than a friend has in a long time. I was so thankful to have such a positive person in my life-- I knew what a gift God had given me. And then the friendship ended almost as quickly as it had started. God took away this beautiful relationship--one that finally showed me what a healthy one looked like. I was left wondering every day what was wrong with me? What had I done? Why would God show me such a good thing just to take it away? I was bitter. Towards him, towards myself, towards God. Even though I stopped persuing God, he didn't stop persuing me.
          I went to Nicaragua in March to help local schools there---but God had more in store. You see, in seven short days, I was given a new set of friends. Ones that were encouraging, genuine, caring. God wouldn't let me escape his embrace. They reminded me of who I was, who I always wanted to be for my Savior. They were there before things went wrong. They have been there since--always reminding me of God's best for my life. They keep reminding me how much it's not about me and my happiness. It's about so much more than that. And I can't possibly be God's hands and feet if I am paralyzed by this setback that was positively part of God's great plan for his glory and my good. I have no reason to be sad--God wants the best for me and loves me unconditionally. I can't possibly be angry--God wanted me to learn from this. I can't possibly give up--God knows exactly how I will use this experience now and later. It'd be easier to run away, to ignore the pain and hurt, to turn to temporary highs. But every time I do that I'm not healing, I'm only numbing myself again, putting a band-aid on deadly wound.
          Although I keep striving for someone here on Earth to make me feel like something, to make me feel worthy and important--God is showing me that humans will never be able to show me that consistently. He is the only one who will flawlessly love and pursue me without ceasing. And so I am beginning a journey towards becoming "authentic" as defined below:

au·then·tic

   [aw-then-tik]  Show IPA

adjective

1.

not false or copied; genuine; real: an authentic antique.

2.

having the origin supported by unquestionable evidence;authenticated; verified: an authentic document of the MiddleAges; an authentic work of the old master.

3.

entitled to acceptance or belief because of agreement withknown facts or experience; reliable; trustworthy: anauthentic report on poverty in Africa.

1. a. not false: I want to be my true self, and all of it--without a Christian "filter" that only creates a fascade that I have it all together--the real truth is that I am held together by One who does have it all together.
1. b. not copied: I want to be unique. I've spent the last few months chasing normalcy and fitting in. Instead I want to embrace being set apart-different from the world.
1. c. genuine: I want others to know that I, too, am a broken and imperfect human being. The difference is how I handle my heartaches, suffering, and trials.
1. d. real: I want others to see that I can relate to them. My life is real. It's not some fairy-tale. It's not bliss and happiness all the time. But joy is something that can never, ever be taken away.

2. a. having the origin supported by unquestionable evidence: I want others to know without a doubt that I am a child of the only true, only living God of the universe.
2. b. authenticated: I want to be authenticated in the eyes of God.
2. c. verified: I want to be verified, washed clean by the blood of the cross.

3. a. entitled to acceptance or belief because of agreement with known facts or experience: I want my authenticity to be evident and transparent so that every one I meet will know that I want to speak God's truth and his truth alone.
3. b. reliable: I want to be a reliable daughter, sister, friend, employee, leader, and soldier for Christ.
3. c. trustworthy: I want to come closer and closer to the trustworthiness of Christ--just as we can put our faith undoubtedly in him, I want others to trust me through my faith.

The task is daunting. It in no way sounds easy. It won't happen overnight. It won't mean that I won't struggle with all the same things. It will mean that I am becoming the person God created me to be. He didn't call me to be insignificant, timid, or to blend in. He didn't call me for mediocredity or complacency. He created me and called me to be his messenger, set apart. If I won't go and do--he'll find someone else. This is a priviledge that I've been trying to throw away, to ignore--all because of one downfall.

That being said, I am prayerfully considering some big things in my future. Scratch that, I am considering some incredible life changing decisions that can rock my world and yours. I'm excited about them. I'm excited to hear God's plans for me as I need to know them. Please pray for me as I am seeking God's will. I am still being distracted by my hurting heart, my physical frustrations, and the american life that gets me worked up more than anything. Every day is a new day. I will not be discouraged, I will not be dismayed.

Better to Give

After years of hearing and passing along the adage, "it's better to give than receive," for the first time in my life, I think I truly understand it. I'll admit, I have found my way onto Pinterest in the last month or so and do somewhat enjoy seeing all the crazy, amazing, and ridiculous pins all in one place. However, more and more I have been noticing stereotypically American/Western ideals embedded within the organization and use of the site. Common boards include those alluding to the future, such as a wedding boards belonging to single and engaged girls alike, those alluding to wishes and wants, and those listing things yet to be done or accomplished (i.e. Bucket Lists). The common thread here is the focus and collection of all things not presently had. The irony is that of all people in the world, relatively speaking we are the ones that already have the most. I have yet to encounter a board focusing on things people are thankful for (I'm guilty as well). But yes, I understand, that's not the point of the site and wanting or wishing for things or hoping to accomplish things are not bad by themselves. The problem I have with it is, as one can see from  spending a few sparse moments on the site, there are countless things posted and reposted constantly. In other words, there is always something more to find to add to a wish list or to do list. The way I see it, the more we do have, the more we want. So, back to the adage.

If the more we have, the more we want, is it true that the less we have, the less we want? If this is the case, the the more we give, the less we want. Now that could sound less than satisfying to some but consider the words Paul writes,

¹² I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want...


¹⁹ And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.


(Philippians 4)


Paul, a man with experiences in being in need (much less want) and experiences in having plenty says that he has learned the secret of being content in both situations. In other words, what he had did not determine his level of contentedness. He relied on the Lord alone ("my God WILL meet ALL your needs") to look after his needs. But then if what you have does not change your level of contentedness, is giving really better than receiving gifts that God gives through his people? Well, maybe they are one in the same. Maybe giving is receiving–receiving joy, contentment, and encouragement. My goddaughter, Lihanimpo, that I am sponsoring has given me living proof of this. By sponsoring her, I have received so much more than I could ever give her. In lieu of this, I have decided to make an effort to view every relationship I have from a different perspective. What can I give? How can I show Christ's love through giving? How can I learn to be content in all situations despite being surrounded by so many things that beg to be wished for? Giving thanks. I shouldn't be thinking of all the things I will get from my career, or from a husband, or a friend. Instead, I should be thinking of what I can be giving (including thanks) in those regards. 


 ¹⁶ Rejoice always, ¹⁷ pray continually, ¹⁸ give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

(1 Thessalonians 5)

So my resolve is this: instead of planning a future wedding with a yet to be found or non-existent future husband or cluttering a board with all the things I could just die for, I am going to give thanks in all things, give more than I receive (or buy!), and seek out meaningful goals for my life that aim to give rather than to get. This analogy from the book of Matthew is a straight-forward reminder of our commission to give, specifically to the least of these. 


Matthew 25:31-46

New International Version (NIV)

The Sheep and the Goats

    ³¹ “When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. ³² All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. ³³ He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.   ³⁴ “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. ³⁵ For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, ³⁶ I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’
   ³⁷ “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? ³⁸ When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? ³⁹ When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’
   ⁴⁰ “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’
   ⁴¹ “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. ⁴² For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, ⁴³ I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’
   ⁴⁴ “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’
   ⁴⁵ “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’
   ⁴⁶ “Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”

In the end, it is better to give than receive. Happy giving!