What would you do?

Tonight as I was going about an errand I walked by something I really couldn't ignore. As I was walking into a store an older middle aged man sitting on a bench stopped me by calling after me. "Young lady!" My upbringing told me to keep walking and ignore him. After all, he was a man, not the friendliest of types. Not the most trustworthy looking– and here I am by myself. I turned my head his direction to acknowledge him but I lied when I said he stopped me. I really just kept walking towards the door. He asked, "Do you have a cell phone with one minute on it that I could use?" My reply? "No, I don't. I'm sorry." As I continued on into the store here were my thoughts:
1. Whew, I got out of that one.
2. Did I just lie?
3. No, it wasn't a lie. He said, "that [he] could use" and he couldn't use it!
4. What would Christ have done? What does he say about it?
I remembered the verses I read just yesterday, 
Deuteronomy 16:17Every man shall give as he is able, according to the blessing of the LORD your God which He has given you.

Proverbs 3:27 Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it.

5. What would my mom have done or told me to do?


This really bothered me. Was what I did wrong? Maybe I should have asked him why he needed to call someone? What if it was for a ride? Then what? Do I offer a ride? Or my phone? I love being generous but at what cost? He could have been a perfectly safe, respectable man, but what if he wasn't? If something happened because I stopped to talk to him, people would talk about how unwise I was to stop in the first place. "She asked for it." "Why was she thinking?" But now that I've ignored him, what will people think? "Look at that "Christ follower" who just passed that man by, barely giving him a glance, much less any help." "Is that a Christian who just lied outright in public? Same as all the other hypocrites." And what about the man? What does he think of my response? I obviously didn't show Christ to him through my actions. I was polite in my answer but I didn't do anything that any old person wouldn't do. 


What would you do? What is right? What is the wise response? Should I be looking out for my safety or just trust that God has that under control? I know I shouldn't just be stupid and assume God will stop a speeding car from hitting me or a knife from harming me. But, I do know I should trust him with my wellbeing. Worse then all my immediate thoughts was the thought that he might have been trying to steal my phone. And then what would I have done? I can't be without a phone, right?! It's amazing how selfish my heart can be when at the same time had he asked me to buy him a phone, I probably would have been eager to help him. What are we supposed to do in these "moral dilemmas?" Sure, you can pray and wait for answers to certain things but what do I do as I pass by someone like this? In an instant? 


I would want someone to give me the benefit of the doubt but all my natural instincts went against doing so. Here's what the Bible said about giving:



Proverbs 29:7
7 The righteous care about justice for the poor, but the wicked have no such concern.

Matthew 6:19-21
19"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.



Luke 6:35
35But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.



Luke 6:38
38Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."



Acts 20:35
35In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: 'It is more blessed to give than to receive.' "



Romans 12:13
13Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

2 Corinthians 9:6-7
6Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. 7Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.



1 Timothy 6:18
18Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share.


Deuteronomy 15:10
Give generously to him and do so without a grudging heart; then because of this the Lord your God will bless you in all your work and in everything you put your hand to.


Proverbs 21:26
…the righteous gives and does not hold back.


Proverbs 28:27 
He who gives to the poor will never want, but he who shuts his eyes will have many curses.


Luke 6:30
Give to everyone who asks of you, and whoever takes away what is yours, do not demand it back.



1 John 3: 17-18
17If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? 18Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. 


Luke 6:38
Give, and it will be given to you. They will pour into your lap a good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over. For by your standard of measure it will be measured to you in return.


James 2:15-16
If a brother or sister is without clothing and in need of daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and be filled,” and yet you do not give them what is necessary for their body, what use is that?


Isn't that EXACTLY what I did?? I think these verses have given me the answer, for me at least. But what would you do? 

Meaningful Inspiration

Google "definition of inspiration" and this is what you'll get:

in·spi·ra·tion/ˌinspəˈrāSHən/Noun

1. The process of being mentally stimulated to do or feel something, esp. to do something creative: "flashes of inspiration".

2. The quality of having been so stimulated, esp. when evident in something: "a moment ofinspiration in an otherwise dull display".




 Lately I haven't been writing, drawing, painting, or photographing, mostly for lack of inspiration. In my mind, an artist is to inspiration as a shark is to water. Both are useless without those key "ingredients." But...both can be pretty powerful if they DO have those key ingredients. God works in mysterious ways!


In my desperate search for artistic inspiration, I neglected to search for "God inspiration." (using divine inspiration just sounds like I'm expecting ideas to mystically rain from the sky which is definitely NOT the case!) I want to be inspired, "stimulated to DO something" for God. While this kind of inspiration does not (usually) literally rain from the sky, it surely does pour down if you open up His Word. Ever picked up a captivating book and not been able to put it down for as long as it takes to finish it? I've found in the past couple days that if you turn off all the distractions and open up the Word-- it's the best kind of those books! People argue whether or not the Bible is truly "...God breathed..." (2 Timothy 3:16) But just as the Bible promises:    


⁴⁰ “I tell you,” he replied, “if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out.” (Luke 19:40) 


I believe that regardless of what you believe regarding the origins of the Bible, God will use whatever he can to speak to you, as long as you're willing to listen. But I DO believe that scripture comes from God and it is very much a "living" text that God uses in a mighty way to reveal His plans to us IF we are willing. But wait... that's the hard part. Being WILLING. Let's look at that definition...

will·ing/ˈwiliNG/Adjective

1. Ready, eager, or prepared to do something.

2. Given or done readily: "willing obedience"

Ouch. Ready? EAGER? Prepared to DO? Yikes. If I'm honest with myself, most of the time I'd rather operate on my own time schedule. Yes, I can be ready and eager, but I'd rather it be once I'm done with what I have planned. But He never promised that sacrificing was not a part of the incredible journey He has planned for us! (And believe me, HIS plan is way better than mine EVERY time--every time I get a big head, I fall right on it and and am reminded again to simply TRUST Him.) Here's what He says: 

Matthew 16:24 ²⁴ Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. ²⁵ For whoever wants to save their life^[a] will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. ²⁶ What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?

Luke 9:23-24

New International Version (NIV)

 ²³ Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. ²⁴ For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it.

Now..."take UP [my] cross DAILY?"

That's a personal slap in the face. "Take up": a choice to acknowledge, take on, and maybe even embrace. "their (my) cross": our Savior's cross represented the surrendering of Himself for others, suffering, His choice to offer Himself "as a living sacrifice." "daily": every day, not a day without, incessantly. Can I really do this? Yes. But I'm only human! But I have Christ. How can I make His power mine? Be filled with the Spirit. Filled. With no room left for anything else! 

Romans 12:1 ¹ Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.

Ephesians 5:18  ¹⁸ Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit,

But God made us because He LOVES us. He wants to bless us. He wants to reward, protect, guide, and treasure us. Yes, He wants me to be WILLING to SACRIFICE my own life. But it's because He truly knows what is BEST for me. As Paul wrote to the church in Philippi,

Philippians 1:21

New International Version (NIV)

²¹ For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.

1 Corinthians 10:13

New International Version (NIV)

¹³ No temptation^[a] has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted^[b] beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted,^[c] he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

For us to lose our life for His glory would only be GAIN! I am in His perfect hands and should feel only the upmost honor and reverence for being chosen by Him to carry out His perfect work. The fact that He allows me to be His hands and feet is nothing short of a blessing. He has not only forgiven my countless offenses and endless "cheating," He has taken me back with open arms time and time again. How lucky I am to have a heavenly Father that is ever patient with me, never stops teaching me, and uses my imperfect self even though it would be easier for Him to carry out His will by His own hands. Just as is true in life as a whole, it should not be "what can He do for me, but what can I do for Him?" What can I give to a God like Him except for my everything? How selfish I can be. I don't want this to be a one-day realization that quickly fades out of my mind. I want this to be a part of my every day life. Only then will I experience and recognize what God wants to accomplish in my life. 

Jeremiah 29:11

New International Version (NIV)

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.






My goal this week: to truly find inspiration to DO something for God's kingdom. To take my thoughts, prayers, hopes and dreams to the next level---> ACTION. I want to be a powerful and "dangerous" person having been inspired by God daily, ^{12  ...}joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Romans 12:12

New International Version (NIV)

He is always faithful. If you don't believe the Bible, take it from me. He has never once failed me.

Psalm 33:4 

4 For the word of the LORD is right and true; he is faithful in all he does.

Psalm 36:5

5 Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies.

Psalm 86:15

15 But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.

Psalm 89:1

1 I will sing of the LORD's great love forever; with my mouth I will make your faithfulness known through all generations.

Psalm 89:8

8 O LORD God Almighty, who is like you? You are mighty, O LORD, and your faithfulness surrounds you.

Psalm 115:1

1 Not to us, O LORD, not to us but to your name be the glory, because of your love and faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:22-23

22 Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. 23 They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

Romans 3:3-4

3 What if some did not have faith? Will their lack of faith nullify God's faithfulness? 4 Not at all!

1 Corinthians 1:9

9 God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful.

I want to challenge you to turn off the distractions until you discover how captivating the love that God has for us is and how He wants to speak to us through His word and use us, mere imperfect beings, for good!

Just Because's!

Recently, my best friend and I have been going through some challenges. Having dated, a friendship is complicated! And to add to it, we're both very stubborn! (I know that might surprise some of you! Jaja) So as a result of our stubborn personalities and recent break up, it's been difficult. But it's also gotten us talking, a lot! In some ways it's easier to talk now because it seems as if nothing is "at stake." Today we had one of those "hind-sight is 20/20" conversations talking about what we would do differently if we were to start over. Isn't it funny how differently we view things when we're out of the moment? Well this conversation led to talking about "Just Because's:" things like buying flowers, going out to dinner, writing cards (or even sticky notes!), helping with boring tasks to make them go by faster, etc. It got me thinking about all the people in my life who deserve some "Just Because's." My mom, my friends (and of course my very best friend), some adults in my life who have done so much for me, my boss, anyone and everyone who means something to me. I would have loved some myself at times! (just for a bit of encouragement and a reminder that I was special to someone) The problem? "Just Because's" take TIME (something so coveted in my life, I know), sometimes MONEY (a college student spending money on something so trivial??!), and recognizing the special people in your life. The outcome? The special people in your life will be reminded often about how much they mean to you, YOU will be reminded about how much those people mean to you, and the extra encouragement will only serve to improve your relationships! So tonight, while my best friend is at work, I made him some "Just Because's" to remind him that just because our relationship has changed, I still love him and appreciate him being in my life, very much. I hope he realizes how special of a person he is and what his potential is! But no matter if he realizes that, I know that I am doing what I can to encourage him. And I hope it will mean something and make a difference in his life. And if I can do that for everyone who I appreciate, at least from time to time, then maybe I can make a habit of following God's instructions to build others up. Yay for good habits! Besides, if I can't make time to give at least one person a "Just Because" a week, then something definitely needs to change in my life!  What do I have to lose?

Here are some verses for thought! Again, if you know of any more please share them! (and so encourage others!)

    1 Thessalonians 5:11 

11 Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.

Hebrews 10:23-25 

23 Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. 24 And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, 25 not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

1 Peter 4:8-10

8 Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. 9 Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. 10 As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace:

Galatians 6:2

2 Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

Don't let another day go by without letting those you love know that you love them. You never know how many days you have left to tell them! 

Thank you for being a wonderful best friend, David. You teach me and help me realize so much about what is important in life. 

You Can Run, But You Can't Hide!

Ever kicked your heels off as soon as you get in the car after church? Or taken off pantyhose as soon as you possibly could? What about changing from the Christian radio station you were listening to on your way to church to the "good" music station on the way home? Ripped your cell phone out of your pocket? Thrown the Bible in the back seat?  Let your hair down/threw it up? Ripped off the sweater you wore to be modest? Let your mood be changed? GUILTY! I know I'm not the only one! It occurred to me on the way home from church this past Sunday that these actions, while not exactly "sins," do suggest that something changes the moment we leave the church parking lot. So what is it? For me, I think to myself, I know I need to make it to church, and after that I can take care of everything I didn't get done before Sunday morning. I am reverent and polite while in the church building, knowing what we are called to be for our God-family. But when I leave I act as if my "duty" is done, as if I have left God's sight. But the Bible disagrees!

Psalm 139:7-10 (New King James Version)

 ⁷ Where can I go from Your Spirit?
         Or where can I flee from Your presence?
 ⁸ If I ascend into heaven, You are there;
         If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.
 ⁹ If I take the wings of the morning,
         And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
 ¹⁰ Even there Your hand shall lead me,

         And Your right hand shall hold me.


and then God stresses that we are in fact, not our own, but a temple of the Holy Spirit!

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (New King James Version)

¹⁹ Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? ²⁰ For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body^[a] and in your spirit, which are God’s.

So, ultimately, it is foolish of my to believe that my leaving church gives me the "right" to change my attitude of devotion to the Lord, my thoughts about modesty or dressing my best, my thoughts in general, and especially my actions. So my new view on living the life God wants me to live is living before the Lord. Everywhere I go, and everything I do should reflect the love and attitude of Christ. "...[W]here can I flee from your presence" Lord? NOWHERE! Now it all sounds well and good but to really live humbly before the Lord at all times is not going to be an easy thing to even consciously remember! But, I know that if I ask God to help perfect my faith, He won't refuse. Here comes the practice! I am praying that I will recognize the opportunities He gives me to practice this and take full advantage! And then how do I live with my head bowed humbly before him while still holding my head high in confidence? It sounds like a recipe for me to get carried away and lose sight of the humility I need to keep close! But God will NOT be working against me in this. Satan may try!

BUT...

Exodus 15:2
The LORD is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation. He is my God, and I will praise him, my father's God, and I will exalt him.

1 Samuel 30:6
David was greatly distressed because the men were talking of stoning him; each one was bitter in spirit because of his sons and daughters. But David found strength in the LORD his God.

1 Chronicles 16:11
Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always.

Nehemiah 1:10
"They are your servants and your people, whom you redeemed by your great strength and your mighty hand.

Psalm 28:8
The LORD is the strength of his people, a fortress of salvation for his anointed one.

Psalm 46:1
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.

Psalm 59:16
But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble.

Isaiah 40:28-31
 Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.

Isaiah 41:10
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Jeremiah 17:5
This is what the LORD says: "Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the LORD.

Daniel 10:18-20
Again the one who looked like a man touched me and gave me strength. "Do not be afraid, O man highly esteemed," he said. "Peace! Be strong now; be strong." When he spoke to me, I was strengthened and said, "Speak, my lord, since you have given me strength."

Habakkuk 3:19
The Sovereign LORD is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights.

1 Corinthians 1:25
For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Ephesians 3:14-19
For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.


Ephesians 6:10
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might.


Philippians 4:13
I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

Colossians 1:10-12
And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, 11being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully 12giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light

2 Timothy 4:17
But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it

1 Peter 4:11
If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.

Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.
Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. (James 4.7-8a)

...my God is STRONGER. And clearly He intends to strengthen and help us through every struggle. And as Philippians 4:13 reminds us, we can do ALL things through CHRIST who gives us strength. Hallelujah! 

Anyone else struggle with living like it's Sunday morning on Friday nights, or maybe Monday MORNings? Or when you're around certain people who don't share your goals or who are just hard to love? He cares about all of our time and how we spend it! (Help keep me accountable!) If you know of any other verses that you find helpful in this struggle, please share!

Hurting

With all that is going on in my own life and in the lives of those I know, and even those I don't know, I have both experienced and seen an immense amount of hurting. In some cases I can only imagine the hurt that these people are going to. In other cases I know what the hurt is like. But I am so convinced that God would not give my heart the immense capacity to hurt if He didn't want me to use it for good. It's both a blessing and a curse for me. My heart aches for those impacted by this earthquake and tsunami, it aches for those in my city, my own city, who are starving- not to mention those starving elsewhere around the world. I ache for the children left to grow up with no parents, or even worse, those with parents who are abusive or neglect them. It's easy for me to ache for these people and just lose hope. But I have to refuse that tendency of mine to just sit and sulk about it, the urge to sit and wonder why we have destroyed our earth to this point, why I am not like them today. It's not as easy to take my hurting and exchange it for healing and strength. In talking to two of my very best friends, I tried to put into words the feeling I have towards the things I have experienced. I have lost two grandparents to cancer, a "2nd mother" also to cancer, had my heart broken, been at my brother's side on the way to the hospital after being run over by a car. I watched another brother go through open heart surgery, and yet another brother suffer through cancer before he could understand what it was. I have been rejected (in a church of all places), had to learn to find peace with very little money, been brought to a helpless physical state due to food poisoning in a foreign country. I have had relationship struggles with my parents, suffered from anxiety, and had many feelings of loneliness in a crowd of people. I feel (something I cannot put into words, but something similar to lucky) to have gone through all that I've gone through. Because now, I can relate to people going through these same things. I know I'm not the only one to have gone through these things or who will go through these things. And for some people, my life sounds like bliss. And that hurts my heart. I wish I could trade lives with those truly suffering, to give them a glimpse of hope. But I need to exchange my hurting for healing and strength. Even if it causes more hurt for me in the beginning, I know it will help me heal in the long run if I'm just open and honest with people who are also struggling. Letting them know that it is a struggle, but that we never have to struggle alone. It will hurt, but there is hope. It's hard to open up about things that hurt though. It's hard to share the details that I try to forget. But, I have learned that putting all things in God's hands is the only way to make it through these struggles we face in life and truly leave it with Him. We may not be able to control what will happen, but we can choose to go through it all with someone who understands every bit of the good and the bad. I cannot wait for the day when the earth is returned to the way it was meant to be and there will be no more hurting. But until then, I have to make the most of my hurting by choosing to help those going through the same struggles, and hope that they too will see that God is our loving Savior.

Romans 12:15 (New International Version, ©2011)

¹⁵ Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.

1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 (New Living Translation)

The Hope of the Resurrection

 ¹³ And now, dear brothers and sisters, we want you to know what will happen to the believers who have died^[a] so you will not grieve like people who have no hope. ¹⁴ For since we believe that Jesus died and was raised to life again, we also believe that when Jesus returns, God will bring back with him the believers who have died. ¹⁵ We tell you this directly from the Lord: We who are still living when the Lord returns will not meet him ahead of those who have died.^[b] 16 For the Lord himself will come down from heaven with a commanding shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trumpet call of God. First, the Christians who have died^[c] will rise from their graves. ¹⁷ Then, together with them, we who are still alive and remain on the earth will be caught up in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. Then we will be with the Lord forever. ¹⁸ So encourage each other with these words.

Romans 8:28 (King James Version)

 ²⁸And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

Miracle, Music, and Mess-Ups

It has been a crazy couple of days, hence the lack of a post. So here goes a summary. I spent the weekend at school planning on resting and spending plenty of time packing, cleaning, and finding stuff to get rid of. None of which I really succeeded in doing! And speaking of not so successful attempts, I did not do very well with my no-facebook/tv challenge. I have still been doing great in not watching tv since I now find what's on tv awfully dumb! But with the decrease in time spent on tv, there was an increase in facebook time. I feel really awful having done so poorly with it but it's an ongoing challenge! I will succeed! I am home now and spending much more time with family, reading, enjoying SUNSHINE (having left behind a snow shower in Boone!), reading my Bible and praying. It has been AWESOME to see God working in my life and in the lives of others. This Sunday, a good family friend who has always inspired me had a stroke and seizure. It was really difficult for me to understand why this kind of thing would happen to someone who had spent her life serving the Lord. While struggling in prayer over the situation in the car I was listening to the radio and heard the line, "the Voice of Truth says, 'this is for my glory'." This couldn't have come at a better time! Through all my struggles I have never considered them for God's glory. And this situation truly was for His glory, as I can now see in many of the situations I have been in the past and didn't understand. God worked a miracle in this young woman's life these last few days. As of tonight she is doing so much better and is able to talk (which was somewhat unexpected). This could have killed her and she is already recovering! What an amazing reminder that God is in control and can use us for His glory at any time He chooses! I was initially really upset about it all, about it happening to her of all people! But now I realize she was chosen for this. God chose to use her life as a testimony to His love and power. She is in His hands. Period. Praise God for his faithfulness. I am so thankful for Spring Break this week and the ability to spend more time on my relationship with Him and reading His word as a love letter. He is truly amazing. Despite all my faults (if you saw my day today you would know they are many! [I lost one of my mom's special rings down the vent, knocked over a trashcan full of eggshells, etc., dropped food on the floor....just to name a few]) He STILL loves MEUNCONDITIONALLY. Can you find that kind of love anywhere else? I love you, Lord!

Shutting Up

The difficulties in knowing when and how to shut up have been on my mind a lot this week. Since last weekend I have found it difficult to shut up. All I want to do is talk about the RADICAL change that has taken place in my life and what God can do of the lives of the unbelievers. I have found that this ruffles quite a few feathers– I guess I somewhat expected people to be more open to hearing about something so wonderful, but I can't help but remember my own fears. Now, after a week of having this endless urge to share what I have found, I am feeling discouraged by the responses I have gotten. I keep trying to remind myself however, that I SHOULD be ruffling up some feathers. We are called to be lights in a dark world. We should look awkward, out of place, different, and maybe a little bit crazy! But then I have fears of pushing people away. If I don't shut up, maybe they won't want to be friends anymore because they find it annoying, offensive, or just don't care. But nowhere in the Bible does it say I should worry about these things! So regarding my first dilemma regarding shutting up, I will chose not to. I want to know that I have done absolutely everything I can to further the cause of Christ.

A second issue with shutting up is when it comes to listening, to God and to others. In this regard, I need to practice the whole shutting-up thing. It is SO easy to want to fill the silences with our own words but God wants to use those to fill our hearts with His words. Notice I said I need to PRACTICE this. It's not something that I will learn overnight or from going to church, but only by deciding to quiet myself, daily, in order for Him to be heard.

What about wanting other people to shut up? I've had my fair share of struggles with that this past week. There are certain people in my life that I find difficult to love, and often times, I just wish they would shut up. But each and every one of them is intentionally created by God, therefore I need to learn to love them the best way I can. My prayer this week is that I can find ways to love these people in my life for who they are, not who I wish they would be, and to open my mind and heart to see the purpose God has for placing them in my life.

Luke 6:27

27 “But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,

Mark 12:30-31

³⁰ And you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.’^[a] This is the first commandment.^[b

^{31 And the second, like it, is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’[a] There is no other commandment greater than these.” ]}

"The flowers of the field are dying to be heard..."

Luke 19:40 (King James Version)

 ⁴⁰And he answered and said unto them, I tell you that, if these should hold their peace, the stones would immediately cry out.

So until I no longer have a mouth capable of speaking His praise and glorifying His name, I will not "hold my peace." Satan wants me to believe that I am annoying people, that I will lose my friends, and that I am wasting my time, but I know that silence will do nothing to further the kingdom of God and if I chose not to work towards that goal, what is my point in continuing to breathe?

One last thing to mention about shutting up, it's been over a week now since I have turned the tv on for anything. This is an easy way to shut up some of the distractions in your life! I hung a painting over mine so that I would constantly be reminded not to become entranced by the nothingness that is called tv. I had set a goal to go without for a week and I looked to see what to turn on tonight and there was absolutely nothing worth watching, so the painting is staying up! My next challenge, shutting up Facebook! Think I can handle a week without both?

Luke 6:22-23 (NIV)
Blessed are you when men hate you, when they exclude you and insult you and reject your name as evil, because of the Son of Man. Rejoice in the day and leap for joy, because great is your reward in heaven. For that is how their fathers treated the prophets.

Doubting Thomas to 0% Doubtful in 20 years.

If you know anything about me, you know that I like to have control over almost every aspect of my life. For instance, if I let someone else drive, I might as well be driving because I watch their every move and am quick to speak up if they are being the least bit frightening. (p.s. hunker down for a long read...I have amazing news to share...you don't want to miss this) I have grown up in a Christian home, started at a Christian school, and have gone to church most of my life. Needless to say, I know the verses, I know the "rituals," I know the songs, I know the routine. But...I never experienced JOY, true JOY. Reading my Bible was insightful but I was never thirsting for it. I learned in church but I never took it to heart in my actions. I was not bearing the fruits of the Spirit. Maybe I would on occasion but because I wanted to do what was right, not what would glorify the risen Lord. Well these last couple of weeks God has been doing CRAZY things in my life...all for me. For almost twenty-years I tried to fool God, everyone around me, and even myself that I had really given my life (let me reword that...SURRENDERED) my life to Christ to willingly follow Him WHEREVER He wanted me to be. All this time I was holding onto my life with my pinky finger, trying not to make it obvious that I was still wanting to control some of my life. Well a few weeks ago I really felt like I should start to go to church again but I really didn't want to get involved in a new church and have it wander off like the past few I've been a part of had. So I woke up to watch Charles Stanley preach on tv. Turns out I woke up just at the end so I went online to see if I could watch it there and I could! He was talking (not ironically!) about the importance of being involved in a church. So I said, ok God... I'll give it a go! But I'm really not sure about this. I don't want to be uncomfortable, I don't want to have to go to 50 before I find a good one.... So I went to google while still watching the online sermon and listening to Dr. Stanley say "it's all about relationships" and I searched for churches in Boone. The first one on the list was Mt. Vernon Baptist Church. I clicked to see their website and what came scrolling across the front page? "it's all about relationships." WOW. Ok God. I'm there! The following Sunday I was home with my family and my mom asked me to go to church with them and I did. The following Sunday I got up to go to Mt. Vernon. Everything went wrong that morning. I was just about to give up on going because I was going to be late on top of everything else but I still went. I have never felt more loved in a church family before. That very morning the lady I sat next to in the service asked if she could show me where the college group met. I went (even though I was anxious about it) and it was awesome. I ended up knowing two people there and they made me feel more than welcome. That following week, the girl who I met and made me decide App is where I wanted to be invited me to go on the winter retreat with them (this past weekend). I followed my mom's advice to continue to get out of my comfort zone and go where God wanted me to be. So this past weekend I spent with a whole bunch of strangers that I feel like I have known my whole life. I met the godly mentor I had been wanting in my life for so long. I met an amazing group of girls (who I shared a cabin with--I had not met a single one of them before Friday night--SCARY!). Saturday morning as an amazing man of God was opening His mouth for God to use, we were asked to raise our hand if we were 100% sure of our salvation. I couldn't do it. I have never been to accept that Christ really did die so that I might live. I couldn't accept that I couldn't fix my own mistakes--that I couldn't control things! I was ashamed and wanted to fix it myself. But I realized the greatest thing to ever realize--I CAN'T DO IT. And God is not ashamed of me, even with my sins. I gave my life WHOLE-HEARTEDLY to Christ this weekend for the very first time. I found the JOY that I had thirsted for so long in my life. I tried to get it from friends, from my boyfriend, from my family, tv, music, even SCHOOL (which had become such an idol in my life because I wanted to have control over something that it pulled me further and further away from God...exactly what Satan wants.) I have no doubt in my mind that I will meet my maker one day and he will open His arms wide and say "welcome home." I can't wait for that day but I know until then that my purpose here on earth is to keep my mouth open, my hands and feet moving, my ears listening, and my heart humble and willing to go WHEREVER, WHENEVER, so that as many people as I meet will have the opportunity to share in this joy. We talked about this weekend how spiritual battles become stronger the more bold you are for the Lord, and the more you grow closer with Him and right now the only thing I can say to that is BRING IT ON! I have the power of the Lord Jesus Christ on my side and NOTHING can stop Him. NOTHING. If you have never experienced this joy in your life, I would be more than happy to share it with you ANYTIME of day or night. (p.s. if you have doubts about the science against the Bible...READ the Bible. you'll be amazed. I had the chance to do this last night with my (now former) boyfriend and we were both amazed. I encourage you to check it out.) I could never be more thankful for the God that loves us in spite of everything. He continually pursues us with unconditional, pure love with only our best in mind. We just have to let Him love us. Hallelujah!

Hopes and Dreams

I was finally feeling motivated last night and decided to take on the daunting challenge of going through the pile of stuff that has been sitting in the corner of my apartment for a few months. It had steadily grown as I came across more and more stuff that I didn't want to deal with at the time. But, it's done! Finally. And it feels wonderful to not have that pile of things to address looming in the room. In sorting through all the papers and random trinkets I found a list I made a few months ago of things I wanted to do in life. It looks a little like this:
I want to...
learn to draw (well!)
hike the appalachian trail
live (and teach) in another country (or countries)
go to photography school
travel to every world region
live environmentally friendly
take care of myself
strengthen my faith
gain self-confidence
adopt a child
get married
learn how to drive a motorcycle
diversify my cooking (and keeping it healthy!)
exercise regularly
run a 5k
volunteer regularly
read history through biographies
learn how to make tortillas & atol
go to Seattle
visit every state.

I have not been very successful in completing many of these dreams, but I'm still here! It was really interesting to see what I wanted a few months ago and comparing it to what I want to do in life now. If I were to make a new list it would definitely resemble this list, but there would be some major changes, as my priorities have changed. In as little as a few months my hopes and desires have changed significantly. I can't begin to imagine what they will look like a few years  from now! But I had a thought this morning– as much as my hopes and dreams change as I get older, God's hopes and dreams for my life never change. He wants me to love Him, love people, and love myself (as I am His creation). He wants nothing but the best for me, but... He wants to trust His guidance to know what that is in my life. As much as I want to cling to my list of hopes and dreams, I really need to work on reminding myself what it can mean for my life if I surrender my future to His  list of hopes and dreams. It can be really difficult to ACT as though I know He has the best planned for me. But reality is, He does! So my goal for this week is to prayerfully seek His plans for my life and keep my heart and mind open for what those plans are. With all the crazy uncertainty in life, isn't it great to serve a God who never changes?